When you’re doing Autolysis you can get stuck. The ‘body-mind system’ may jam by the emergence of memories, fixations and traumas, but also because it reveals that what you believe and what you’re convinced of is based on hot air. If that is the case than it is good to integrate the gained insights into the ‘body-mind system’ — in ‘Being’.
You can always use this Integration, but I suspect that you will only do it when you have no other option, when you feel that you cannot proceed with the Autolysis anymore.
‘Integration’ sounds very active but it is the opposite. You don’t integrate by doing something, you integrate by not doing anything as much as possible. You integrate your experiences, insights and knowledge not by actively processing this asset into your life, not by finding a ‘place’ for it, but by sitting down as much as possible while you consciously breath and try to feel what is, feel without articulating or labeling it. Then this integrating seems to happen all by itself purely because you allow it.
I know this is difficult to accept because we are accustomed to believe that we have to work hard to get everything we want or reach what we want to achieve. That misconception is the reason why so many people feel they are lacking something or missing out on something, but it’s also the reason why so many people are unhappy, stressed and aggressive; because what they are doing does not work.
You gain nothing by appropriating it or by working very hard for it, you can only receive by giving. Many people believe this is ‘paradoxical’, but when you realize that it really works this way it is obvious that you integrate by letting go and letting it be and not by making efforts.
What you ‘do’ to integrate the experiences and insights is the following:
You sit down, you concentrate on your breathing and feel what your state of mind is without naming it or having an opinion about it.
I will tell you in two separate parts (‘Breathing’ and ‘Feeling’) how you go about the breathing and the feeling, but first: please read the following.
Feelings and Emotions
We have the habit of putting into words the feelings we have or emotions we experience. We do this because we believe that if we understand the feeling or emotion, or if we understand where it’s coming from, we can integrate it. And so we convince ourselves that we have assimilated the feeling or the emotion.
But that is not so.
When we put a feeling or emotion into words, and therefore believe that we understand what the feeling or emotion is telling us, we will not integrate it. What we do is hide and suppress the feeling or emotion. We often unconsciously pretend as if the feeling or emotion does not matter anymore and sometimes we pretend it was never really there.
The only thing that we achieve by this is experiencing a short sense of relief. Unfortunately, the feeling or emotion will come back twice as strong in a later stage of our live and if we bury it again it will come back again twice as violently. And if we again bury it, it again will come back twice as violently. Just as long until it is integrated or we are so depressed that we can no longer cope.
You may think that you will recognize the emotion when it comes back again, but that is rarely the case. The emotion will come back as another and different incident. It is in a different guise, as it were, and since we always focus on appearance (the guise/the image) and not what it actually is (the emotion), we believe to be experiencing something new instead of recognizing that it is the same emotion we have experienced previously.
A way of integrating feelings or emotions into the whole system of our body and mind is to integrate it by conscious breathing and feeling without judgment. By giving our ‘body-mind system’ the time and space to assimilate the present feelings and emotions you can solve blockages and integrate emotions, experiences and even traumas.
I want to emphasize that time and space are both ultimately nonexistent, so for the integrating proces also applies: you are in no hurry so do not force it. We cannot get this done with our thinking, we cannot reason it into place, but our body and our mind will organize everything by itself if given the chance.